Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
