before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
