Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
