Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
