just come out here and I will go home with you...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
