is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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