wat bout pragnant strippers??
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
