I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
