This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
