Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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