You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
