Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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