Having a random hookup so left but love u
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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