Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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