dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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