It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
