An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
