sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
