Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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