you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
