Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
