you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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