Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
