how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
