doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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