you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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