i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
