It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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