She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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