i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
