You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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