its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
