Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
