it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
be right there i have to get my cape
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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