Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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