I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
