I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
