I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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