ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
