i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
