she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
