I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize