are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
