my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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