John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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