He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize