I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
