ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
