He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize