He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize