I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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