I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
