Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
