i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's like heaven, but drunker
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
