its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
