White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize