yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
