I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
