At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
