Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
