There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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