eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
