I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Randomize
