i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
