You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
