hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
