Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
